Just Hopeless

                 We spend half our lives trying to find “the one”. The one who we are meant to spend the rest of our lives with, who will be there for us through anything and everything. We are the same for that person, but how do we do that in a digital world? A world where it is so easy to lie about who you really are, or who you want to be. A world where it is easier to accept a negative relationship and attention than positive. Where it’s acceptable to use someone for your own personal benefit, a hedonistic perspective. Why do we as humans think it is okay to act and respond to someone’s genuine feelings in a negative way? Because social media/media says it’s okay. Glorifying ignorance. If we took out social media, who are you?

                I consider myself a hopeless romantic, I still believe in Disney fairytales and genuine men. A man who will take the time to get to know someone and fall in love with them for what’s on the inside. Sometimes, I find myself truly contemplating their existence and if they are emotionally available after the shit storm that was their exes. I find myself wondering why woman have turned the tables and started to act without feelings and react on pleasure. How they easily discard men like the Starbucks they drink every morning. Call me delulu, but I feel we’ve given up on really courting. What it means to court and get to know someone before we become intimate with them. It easy to have sex, fuck whatever you call it, but it’s hard to find a connection. In finding someone we click with; we open doors to travel through. Someone to go on adventures with, life’s adventures. I tear up at the thought of finding someone who can deal with my emo music obsessions, or even my random Sunday rom-com movie marathons. Maybe, he isn’t out there, and I’ll be that single schoolmarm. Who cares more about her career than getting her legs put behind her ears. That is the difference between wanting and needing something. I need someone intellectual, and I have to admit I find it hard to find someone like that in either gender lately. It’s the superficial demeanor for me, having no depth is a turn off to me. I realize that now I am getting to know people for who they are. It’s easy to pretend to get something you want, but then you will have people questioning your integrity. I, for one, do not want anyone to ever question if I am telling the truth ever again. A guilty conscience is never worth it, and I think we all forget that sometimes. We question the morality of our actions for mere seconds, before committing an act that we cannot come back from. In some cases, we are not talking about robbing a bank here. We are talking about relationships. Would you want someone to question your sincerity? Would you want someone to pretend to love you for your money or your social status? No, I am sure you would not want that, but then again, we do have our Jennifer Check’s and Barney Stinson’s of the world.

                How do we weed out the bad ones? How do we separate them from the ones that actually want genuine love? Honestly, it is not hard. You just have to try and look at people’s initial red flags. They are there, don’t be fucking blind. A person tells who they are in the first few weeks of meeting and/or talking. We all want to impress the person we are interested in but what’s the point in fabricating this extravagant story about something you have never done? If someone says they do not like something, they will not change how they feel about it. For example, people tend to discuss their initial interests when they are talking to someone, they are interested in. If someone says they like to party, they like to party. If someone says they enjoy watching a sport or doing a certain activity, THEY LIKE TO DO THIS. Period. If you do not like something the other person likes, that is okay. We are allowed to have differences we are only human. This is what brings compromise. Compromise is what makes relationships work and thrive. Being able to do something you may not generally like but want to make someone else happy by doing it. For instance, I love to travel, so I may either want to find someone that loves to travel as well or is willing to compromise with me. I hate football, I would watch football if we can go to Italy in the spring. A compromise I’d willingly take for footy football. What we can learn from ourselves about what we need in a relationship. What cannot be compromised. For example, someone may expect a six-figure salary, which I remain bias on for the sake of the argument. It is a factor for quite a few people and for quite a few reasons. In that, that may not be a compromise they are willing to stray away from. Another example, faithfulness. Seemingly this one has been hard for me to follow in my younger years, but age and moral reasoning changed that quickly. Being faithful should not be that hard in our world, but for some reason, I hear it more now than I ever heard in the past. I feel if it has come to that point, just leave, you’ll do your soul and give your mind a great deal of relief. The fact that Ashley Madison exists, and it is an “okay” thing to do. Insane to me. These are some of my beliefs and those are my wants in a relationship. Now the point is, to find yours. What are you willing to compromise with and what aren’t you willing to compromise? Seems like an easy question, but it could make unrealistic dealbreakers. So, the goal is to find what is truly important to you.

                I find that being single, and learning what you want for yourself helps you realize what you want from other people. In that you can find someone who compliments you, because losing your identity in a relationship is not healthy and another blog. Never forget who you are because you matter just as much as the other person matters. In finding a healthy medium, we find that healthier relationships develop.