Ideas Go Here

       It’s like an escape really, Raymond and me. He makes me feel almost human, the array of emotions I feel when I am with him. It’s feral, real. I pulled through the roundabout, the wind blowing through my long curly brown hair. The music filled my ears, the bass filling my heart. I was on my way to see Raymond. He invited me over earlier to play cards with him and the guys. At first, I wanted to say no, because that meant I would have to stay and wait patiently until he fucked me. Like a good girl. I could hear his voice in my ears, and it made me instantly wet. His voice always did that to me. The sultry confidence with undertones of dominance undeniably sends me over the edge. I cannot handle being away from him for long. Yet here I am, six months have gone by without a word and when he calls, I come. Literally.      I pulled onto the street, feeling my insides do a flip and flop. I could feel myself start to second guess everything. Even though...

I had never realized how eye-opening this solo journey would be for me. As an older more mature woman, with some still childish antics. I recognize now, after all these years, I found out who I was many years ago. I have just tried my damnedest to not be this person. To strive to be normal, but I am not normal, and I am still trying to cope with that. Society has so many guidelines that as humans we are supposed to follow. I have never been one to follow the rules on a straight and narrow path, but I worked my way to it. I have tried so hard to control everything that happens in my life. That when the control failed or was not something I could control, I’d feel hopeless. Hopeless that I had failed something that many others before me had failed at as well. That is the thing, we spend so much time trying to be this perfect version of ourselves that we somehow lose a piece of ourselves along the way.               ...

 A small-town girl, Living in a small world. I am from a big family, Where camping and being together every year has since dissipated. Where our families estranged, For reasons unknown. Patient and kind, I find that sometimes I am strange, Or unique. One day at a time, Has been constantly on my mind, I had never found time, To do what’s right, For me. I am from strength, Where “momma didn’t raise no fool” pushes a lot of my decision making, A simple phrase, Carries so much weight. I am from love, Where my Gramps is cheering me on from above. Patient and kind, I find that sometimes I am afraid, Alone in a world turned cold, At least that’s what I am told, But I’ll fold, And fold, Until nothing is left. Because love wins, And all love is kept. No matter what you do, Love always shows through. Because love makes the world go ‘round, Patient and kind, At least that’s what I find.